Pause, Breathe, Choose: How to Respond Instead of Reacting

Posted by Laura Shaw Allen on 1st Jul 2025

Pause, Breathe, Choose: How to Respond Instead of Reacting

Using the Feelings Key to Understand Your Emotions and Move Forward with Intention

Sometimes emotions hit fast. You feel a sting of frustration, a wave of overwhelm, or a tightness in your chest, and before you know it, you’ve snapped, shut down, or spiraled. It’s a cycle that’s easy to fall into, especially when life feels heavy or uncertain.

But what if you could interrupt that pattern? What if, in that moment of emotional intensity, you gave yourself space to pause, take a breath, and choose your response?

That’s where the Feelings Key comes in.

Reacting vs. Responding: What’s the Difference?

Reacting is automatic. It's what we do when we’re on emotional autopilot, when our nervous system takes the wheel and old patterns show up. You yell, you withdraw, you shut down, or say something you later regret. We've all been there.

Responding, on the other hand, is intentional. It means creating just enough space between what you feel and what you do next. It’s not about being emotionless, it’s about being aware. That space gives you power.

The difference between reacting and responding isn’t perfection, it’s presence.

Emotions Aren’t Bad, They’re Data

One of the most powerful things you can learn is this: your emotions aren’t the enemy. They aren’t weaknesses. And they don’t need to be pushed down or ignored.

Emotions are data. They’re signals from your body and your mind, pointing to something that matters to you.
→ Frustration might mean a boundary’s been crossed.
→ Sadness might mean you need care.
→ Fear might mean you’re stepping into something unknown.
→ Guilt might show up when you say yes to someone else, even though you really needed to say no to protect your energy.

When you use the Feelings Key, you start decoding that data instead of drowning in it. You learn to name what you’re feeling without judging yourself for feeling it.

The Power of the Pause

Here’s what it can look like in real life:

→ You feel tension rising.
→ You notice your breath getting shorter.
→ You pause.
→ You breathe slowly, even just once.
→ You acknowledge what’s coming up: “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now.”
→ Then, you choose what to do next.

That might mean stepping away. It might mean speaking calmly. It might mean doing nothing just yet—and that’s okay, too.

The pause is where change begins. It’s where emotional awareness becomes personal power.

You Don’t Have to Get It Perfect

Let’s be honest, there will be days you react instead of respond. That’s part of being human. What matters most is noticing it and using that awareness to shift next time.

Every time you pause and take even one mindful breath, you’re building emotional resilience. You’re practicing the Feelings Key in real time.

And practice is what makes it stick.

A Gentle Reminder

You are not meant to suppress your emotions. You’re meant to understand them, learn from them, and let them guide you, not control you.

So the next time you feel overwhelmed or triggered, remember this simple phrase:
Pause → Breathe → Choose

It’s not about being perfect,
It’s about being present,
And that’s where your transformation truly begins.

love-laura.png